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Sandwich Generation: How Do You Decide Whose Needs Come First?

Your parents need your help right now, and so do your adult kids. What about saving for your own retirement? If you’re stressed and stretched, it’s time to prioritize.

The sandwich generation is defined as those who are caught in the middle of both parents and children who rely on them for financial, physical, and emotional support. During the pandemic, record numbers of adult children moved back home while elderly parents needed more care. This left those in the middle to make difficult choices about saving for their own retirement, funding education and/or living expenses for children, and paying the healthcare needs of aging parents.

Who is in this sandwich generation? The burdens and responsibilities of middle-aged Americans are increasing. Nearly half (47%) of adults in their 40s and 50s have a parent aged 65 or older and are either raising a young child or financially supporting a grown child aged 18 or older, according to a nationwide Pew Research study. Adults who are supporting multiple family members report that this assistance has a significant impact on their financial well-being. Among those who are providing financial support to an aging parent and supporting a child of any age, 28% say they live comfortably, 30% say they have enough to meet their basic expenses with little left over for extras, 30% say they are just able to meet their basic expenses, and 11% say they don’t have enough to even meet their basic expenses. And if adults are not caring for their parents now, nearly 7 in 10 of the people surveyed said they expected to do so in the future.1

If you are in the sandwich generation, and are providing financial, emotional, or physical care to an aging parent, it is likely that you have thought about how you will want to be cared for in the future. If your finances are strained by the caregiving needs of your own parents and gifting to your adult children for living expenses now, how are you supposed to be able to help ensure your own future independence at the same time?

Your top priority should be your own retirement

There are options for elder care and for financing education needs for children, but there are not many safety nets for your own retirement. Here are a few tips for making sure that you are on solid financial footing for your own retirement savings:

  • Work with a financial advisor to help develop a game plan to hit your retirement savings goal.
  • Fully fund your retirement plan options.
  • Consider whether purchasing long-term care insurance is right for your situation.

Next, look at options to help your parents

Once you’ve covered your own retirement planning, next review the options for elder care needs:

  • Review all the assets available for your parent’s support.
  • If there are not adequate assets, consult with a financial advisor to help determine whether your parent is eligible for state benefits.
  • Consider flexible caregiving with other family members.

Next, review ways to provide assistance to your children

If you have minor children who you want to help pay for college, consider whether a 529 savings plan is a good option.

  • If you have an adult child who is saving money for a large expense, such as a wedding or a home purchase, consider whether having them move back home is a reasonable option to give them a boost to their savings account by eliminating rent payments.

For the sandwich generation, you need to evaluate your own financial needs before you can assist other family members. Your financial advisor can give you advice for options available to pay elder care and assistance to your children while still achieving your own retirement goals.

  1. https://www.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2013/01/Sandwich_Generation_Report_FINAL_1-29.pdf

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Within Ten Years of Retirement

Risk Management:
How prepared is your portfolio for a market downturn?

I haven’t thought about what a big market drop would do to my savings.

I know a downturn would hurt, but I’d probably recover over time.

I’ve already adjusted my investments, so a downturn won’t derail me.

Optimization of Income:
How clearly do you know the income you’ll need in retirement?

I’m not sure what I’ll need or where it will come from.

I have a ballpark number, but no detailed plan.

I’ve calculated my income needs and know exactly how I’ll fund it.

Unexpected Expenses:
If something happened to you tomorrow, how prepared would your dependents be?

They’d be financially lost without me.

They’d manage for a little while, but eventually struggle.

They’d be more financially secure because I’ve planned ahead.

Tax Efficiency:
How well do you understand the taxes you’ll pay on retirement accounts?

I have no clue how retirement withdrawals are taxed.

I know the basics, but I’m not sure how it affects me.

I fully understand and have strategies in place to help minimize taxes.

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Risk Management: How prepared is your portfolio fora market downturn?
Optimization of Income: How clearly do you know the income you’ll need in retirement?
Unexpected Expenses: If something happened to you tomorrow, how prepared would your dependents be?
Tax Efficiency: How well do you understand the taxes you’ll pay on retirement accounts?
Estate Planning: How prepared are you with wills, directives, and estate plans?
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At Retirement Age

Risk Management:
How would a market swing affect your lifestyle right now?

It could force me to delay or change my plans.

I might need to tighten my budget for a while.

It wouldn’t change my retirement lifestyle.

Optimization of Income:
How certain are you about your retirement income sources?

I don’t really know where the money will consistently come from.

I know the main sources, but I haven’t planned how to use them.

I’ve mapped out all income streams and how they work together.

Unexpected Expenses:
How prepared are you for long-term care costs?

I haven’t planned for them.

I’ve thought about them, but I haven’t secured coverage.

I have protection and funding strategies in place.

Tax Efficiency:
How well do you understand taxes on your withdrawals and RMDs?

I don’t understand them at all.

I have a general idea, but not a detailed strategy.

I fully understand and have a tax-efficient plan.

Estate Planning:
How prepared is your estate plan?

I don’t have one.

I’ve started, but it’s incomplete.

I have a complete, updated plan in place.

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Risk Management: How would a market swing affect your lifestyle right now?
Optimization of Income: How certain are you about your retirement income sources?
Unexpected Expenses: How prepared areyou for long-term care costs?
Tax Efficiency: How well do you understand taxes on your withdrawals and RMDs?
Estate Planning: How prepared is your estate plan?
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ALREADY RETIRED

Risk Management:
How do you feel about market volatility?

It makes me anxious that I’ll run out of money.

It worries me sometimes, but not always.

I feel secure no matter what the market does

Optimization of Income:
How secure do you feel about sustaining your income?

I’m worried I’ll outlive my money.

I think I’ll be okay, but I’m not fully certain.

I’m confident my income will last.

Unexpected Expenses:
If you faced a major medical expense today, what would happen?

It would devastate my finances.

It would hurt, but I could manage.

I’d be covered without stress.

Tax Efficiency:
How prepared are you for taxes on withdrawals, RMDs, and Medicare penalties?

I haven’t planned for them at all.

I know about them, but I don’t have a strategy.

I’ve implemented tax strategies to help reduce their impact.

Estate Planning:
How updated is your estate plan?

I don’t have one.

It exists, but it needs updates.

It’s current and clearly protectsmy wishes.

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Risk Management: How do you feel about market volatility?
Optimization of Income: How secure do you feel about sustaining your income?
Unexpected Expenses: If you faced a major medical expense today, what would happen?
Tax Efficiency: How prepared are you for taxes on withdrawals, RMDs, and Medicare penalties?
Estate Planning: How updated is your estate plan?
Thank you for taking our risk assessment quiz! Please fill out this form, so we can help tailor a more risk-free retirement plan suited for your needs.

Retirement Readiness Self-Assessment Survey

____ RISK MANAGEMENT

My retirement accounts have been stress-tested for various market conditions.

My investments are safeguardedagainst market crashes.

Fear won’t stop me from enjoying retirement when the market drops.

My current investments match my risk tolerance.

____ OPTIMIZATION OF INCOME

I know how much income I need to support my retirement goals.

I know how much I can spend without touching my principal.

I have calculated inflation into my need for retirement income.

I don’t fear running out of money because I have a solid income plan.

____UNEXPECTED EXPENSES

If I were not here tomorrow,my dependents would be fine financially.

I’m prepared for the cost of future medical events.

I can handle long-term care expenses without running out of money.

My current investment strategy will keep up with rising medical costs.

____ TAX EFFICIENCY

I understand how retirement accounts are taxed,and I’m paying the minimum.

I have a plan to help minimize taxes on RMDs from my 401(k)s and IRAs.

I have implemented a conversion strategy to help maximize my tax savings.

I have a plan in place to help minimize IRMAA penalties.

____ ESTATE PLANNING

My estate plan establishes proper distribution of my assets.

My estate will not have to payprobate fees.

I have POAs for healthcare, medical,and a living directive.

I’m protected from anyone contesting my last wishes.

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____ RISK MANAGEMENT
_____ OPTIMIZATION OF INCOME
_____ UNEXPECTED EXPENSES
_____ TAX EFFICIENCY
____ ESTATE PLANNING